This is just a response to a comment telling a woman to take a homeless person into her house and somehow people thought that was a practical idea.
I apologize for not editing. But I think some of the concepts are worth reading. Ultimately each one of us needs to work on implementing change.
Joyce, there are many many threads that go into trying to help somebody. You had some good ideas given to you, but it is not simple it is complicated. Find out what agency he came through. Did he come in as a refugee? Has he gone through the immigration process? What is his status? Does he speak English halfway decently? How long has he been here? We can imagine what it would be like to go through huge trauma. A lot of people coming from other countries have gone through trauma. They may have watched their families die, you say he has no family here so it sounds like you either came out alone or people died. And so telling someone just to get a job and take care of themselves is sort of kind of like handing a two year old car keys.
The reality is the amount of training in different areas that goes through into being able to be sustainable that many of us take for granted because we had it within our home from ages 5 to 18 in one form or another, but just imagine that you didn’t have any of that training, depending on where he comes from this could be very new and overwhelming. Another frustration is often America is looked as a little bit of a heaven to people coming from difficult countries and they get here and find out it is most certainly not what they were expecting. Community is big. Preferably community that doesn’t do drugs and other illegal things that are not good which becomes complicated too. When people get discouraged they use even vaping or cigarettes or things that cost money and affect their economic status to try to make themselves feel better but that also makes them poorer.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not judging that I’m just making the statement that it affects the economic situation. Often people have not had basic training and life skills which again many take for granted the training they had for years are sometimes people are born organized like my mother and my oldest daughter and pick up incredibly quickly things that the rest of us LOL still can’t figure out after age 55. So some life skills would probably be beneficial.
How long has he been here in America? Our country is very geared in some ways toward destroying the poor. Humans weren’t made to say no a thousand times in a day. We were created to say yes and so when things are shoved through advertisement and TV constantly in her face and don’t kid yourself the reason they do that is because the advertisers understand Humanity if they continue to present things to us and eventually we give in and buy. They tell us so will you need this you need underarm deodorant.
Heaven forbid anybody have stinky underarms and now an entire society believes that and no one would think of going without underarm deodorant. And so it is with so many things not needed for life and, instead of just being able to focus on food, the cultural laws demand that we have a certain look so even in the ghetto in Brooklyn where I was raised, often the young men would have gold jewelry while living in roach infested homes with hardly any food.
The rich set the standards for the poor of what brings value to a person and when that value is anything other than the reality of who they are, life becomes complicated. And again we’ve taken meaningful work away from at least a third of society over the past 150 years. All of our jewelry is manufactured not created. We’ve taken work away from the artists and Artisans of society because you can buy a print for $5 at Walmart. We continue to take away meaningful work and it’s one of the most foolish things Humanity has ever done in my opinion.
But anyway it’s great that you’re engaging with your friend. I would try to sit down with pen and paper if you have the mental ability and time to do this, and try to figure out where they’re at. So for example if somebody is schizophrenic or bipolar that makes life more complicated for just getting on your feet. I have never been able to hold down a job in my life. True statement unless you count being a wife and a mom. Which I do very well, but I’m not stable and I do not fit in a left brained world. I can however write you a song in 5 minutes or less. If you want a good one I need at least an hour. LOL but in all seriousness people thought it was just psychiatric issues until at age 47 they finally diagnosed to wear autoimmune system that causes swelling in the nerves to my brain and a lot of pain. To put in perspective birth of my three girls was not complicated or difficult I’ve had a lot more pain than that on a regular basis. The people don’t see that they just see a woman who should be able to hold a job down. Thank God I am in the world but belong to God and live in his kingdom and he takes care of the Lilies of the Field and the birds of the air.
So sit down with pen and paper and tried to discern a few things. It’s good that he has a car that’s good. We could make assumptions but I wouldn’t try to do that, find out if he’s legal or not and then don’t tell anybody if he’s not, seriously, but he’s probably legal if he’s from Venezuela.
Find out if he has a driver’s license, like does he have documentation so he can work? What kind of work can he do? Try to get an idea if you think he’s stable or not. If he has mental health problems or PTSD or trauma and he’s not stable enough to hold down a regular job then that has to be dealt with first. What might work is if you can get his car cleaned out maybe you could pay to help him take it to the car wash if it’s sturdy and get it cleaned out really well and get his trunk cleaned out and maybe help him possibly sign up for instacart but they’ve been back loaded on drivers I don’t know like if there was something he could do with his car. But it’s not easy just to sign up and get these jobs. Craziest thing ever instacart told me I didn’t pass the background check, I’m hoping to God I didn’t get packed into but I’m pretty sure I haven’t done anything that should give me trouble with my background check. Lol but the point is it’s not simple when you haven’t had certain training to fit into the mold Society demands you to be in.
Another practical thing you might be able to do if you have the time and energy to sit down with him twice a week. I know a lot of people that struggle with the simple doing certain tasks. If he does not speak much English or write English that’s going to be a challenge and you need to find connections that will do the Spanish. The other thing that’s sort of strange is usually the Venezuelans have a good community so I’m surprised he’s not in a community. But just try to ascertain whether you think he can get on his feet. Certainly if he’s doing hardcore drugs or something like that you need to help him to understand that that is a death sentence. And there are groups that can help him get off the drugs but if he doesn’t take the steps to go that route then he will not have the good things in life he could have otherwise. And help him to understand that it’s good to have a roof over your head. When people are discouraged they just sort of kind of get into a pattern and if we think it’s easy to change great everybody give up their Starbucks and eating out for the rest of their life contribute to the poor and the world will be a better place no big deal I’m sure we can all do that very easily while we’re asking them easily to change. And while I’m at it I can stop being sarcastic I’m working on it I don’t actually believe in it so it’s a problem.
But just simple baby steps often are the best. Try to get him into a community. Let him know that his life has value which it sounds like you’re already doing and the biggest thing is that you’re being a friend to him and that’s huge. One of the other complications in society today is we have lost all sense of work ethic. I don’t necessarily think it’s the individual’s fault but the cultural change over the past five generations. The first 5 years of an individual’s life is where most of the training for Life comes in and then from Age 5 to 20 more training from life should be given but many individuals have not had any training in life skills. You can’t just hand somebody a doctorate degree and go I’m really excited here’s your doctorate degree you can be a surgeon today when they haven’t even gone through High School let alone college or medical school, but somehow we think we can hand people a pass to life without them having some serious training.
People don’t understand people are homeless not houseless. There’s a huge difference. They don’t need a house they need a home. In a loving home environment people can work with the individuals in their unique gifts and abilities strengths and weaknesses and enable them to either learn how to live independently or as in my case because I am incapable of living independently unless God chooses to rewire my brain, then in a home environment people with chemical imbalances offer many gifts to those within their area, within their Village without actually having to do the 9:00 to 5:00 required in today’s society which is very difficult for purely right-brained people because the right brain does not hold time and space so they tend to be late for everything and disorganized unless there’s some intense training to help the left brain process a little better. I think I was about 42 when I finally realized why I was late for every appointment. I just figured if I had to be someplace at 10:00 then I had to be there at 10:00. Nobody ever thought to explain to me that you need time to park, you need to give a little extra space for traffic, and then a little bit more space for whatever else could possibly go wrong. So if I have to be at a doctor’s appointment at 10:00 I actually have to be there at 9:30. Left brain people this is a no-brainer. To me creating a song with whatever topic you could give me is a no-brainer but most people find that difficult and Einstein flunked out of high school. So we need to learn how to work together and figure out what are the fine-tune things that are keeping people from being self-supportive and if they cannot be self-supportive how can we put them in a home with others, the B&B’s now actually I think are pretty great because even though it’s not a perfect situation you can put four people into a home at a $1,000 for a bedroom and a shared bath And for those who struggle working stable jobs or making a lot of money they still can have a home. I personally like the traditional home environment better cuz I think it has more sustainability, you know the old fashioned husband wife get married have kids and everybody supports everybody, but the B&B concept actually isn’t horrible, but you do have to be able to pass a background check and those kind of things. So if people have for example warrants out for their arrest the best thing to do is urge them to look at the long term, tell them that there are people willing to help them to grow so that eventually they can have their own place and whatever was missing in their training for life there are ways that that can be taught and then you know as hard as it is go to the police let the situation be dealt with and know that’s not situation be dealt with and know that’s not cool, I do not advise that for illegals because of the current situation, I don’t know what to tell people there. It’s heartbreaking. So now that I’ve made at least three quarters of the people reading this mad I’m sorry. The beautiful thing about this world is we all get to live in it together, but the most beautiful thing is that in spite of all the mess there’s still somebody who puts the Sun in the sky everyday whether we can see it or not through the clouds and every DNA and rainbow and blade of grass cries out I love you. So prayerfully as a community we can find that love. And find the truth that goes with it. I wish I could do things in a bullet point fashion but that is not my gift.🤷♀️
Anyway I’m really glad that you’re reaching out to him and I hope you can continue to make a difference. If you have a male friend that has some Street smarts that your Venezuela friend might stay with that might be it option but I do not ever recommend a single woman or somebody with children take a man into the house. And I do not think anybody with children should take in a homeless person. And anybody that thinks that’s practical I would suggest you go volunteer working with abused women for a year and then come talk to me.
One thing I will say is be encouraged. There has been a huge influx of compassion and desire to care for the poor that is risen up in the midst of all the craziness going on these past couple of years and that is a good thing. We need to work on creating once again a sustainable Society. We don’t have that right now. Our current American culture has not been sustainable for at least 60 years if not longer. But I think we are learning to implement change. It’s interesting because both sides right and left have strengths and weaknesses. Those people who are gifted at Authority and doing things in a stable manner often not compassion and understanding for whatever reason I don’t know. Not always but often. And those who don’t do things in a stable manner your right brain goes with the chemical imbalances, the people coming out of drug addiction and alcoholism, they have a great understanding often and caring for the poor because they’ve been there, but unfortunately they resist the change in authority and structure that is needed to better affect the human situation. Both sides have this in common, we don’t like to be uncomfortable and we don’t like to have to change our ways of doing things. We want to think that we are the good guys and the other people are the bad guys, but the reality is the only one good is God. That’s really hard for Humanity to grasp. We need him no matter how much we run, we need him. And at the cross Every Mountain is brought down and every Valley raised up, the rough places plain, the Crooked places straight. It’s at that place where somebody like me is beloved and accepted and has a home. I’m grateful for that more than words can say and I pray that every person who has not known what that safe place and love is like, come into that position, that beautiful Safe Haven where there is enough food everyday and water and shelter, and where love abounds.
Maybe one of these days I’ll learn how to communicate. All right blessings
Letters to a Friend 