“Anything that Costs You Your Peace is too Expensive.” True or False?

😲💞Thankfully God does not think of that about us. Sorry I don’t agree with that.

Relationship is the highest priority. And when anything takes the place of that, then the relationship will not stand. However it’s not just any relationship. Some relationships are for a time and some are for a lifetime and some are eternal, hopefully many of them are eternal. But the number one relationship to prioritize is that with the creator of the universe. Every blade of grass and every sunrise and ever Sunset every healthy DNA cries out I love you. And when we severed that relationship we lost peace. Because of the love that God has for us he chose the temporary lack of peace, temporary by his standards though we probably wouldn’t call thousands of years temporary, but temporary pain and suffering, out of his love for us he endures so much at our hands and yet continues to send rain and to send as many blessings as he can even though also often we refuse them and shut the door in his face.

My husband is in this life my biggest Delight and Treasure. 25 years of marriage and yes I can tell you without a shout of a doubt he would say that of me , the both of us would put God in the things of the Kingdom of Heaven first and each other second.

I can promise you, 🤣 there are more times than I can count where my peace has been gone. But he was worth it. And after 6 months of marriage when I got sick and he had to take care of me for 18 years before they finally got the diagnosis, and technically still has to take care of me, I am worth it. We understand the value of each individual creation of God. I can’t say I was in a lot of Peace when I was giving birth to my three children but I’d do it a hundred times over.

And honestly the suffering and the pain in childbirth is just the beginning put every one of those children are so treasured and so infinitely worth it. Are there times I can’t handle it? Thousands. There are times I have headed to the castle in mental breakdown mode, being borderline bipolar does not help life skills! But I am loved. We are human beings. We are not human doings.

It is so difficult to explain the value and the Delight even in the suffering for the sake of a beloved in a generation that has lost the concept and it’s heartbreaking. But the closest I could get to try to explain it was when I was about 2 weeks prior to giving birth to my third daughter. She is 11 years apart from her sister and at 11 years old the oldest sister was very confused. I was so excited to have my newest about to be birthed. But she finally confessed and said Mom it just sounds so boring. I mean just constantly having to change diapers and take care of a baby.. and then came the day when she held her newborn sister in her arms and looked in her eyes and I don’t think there’s any greater admiration and adoration in this life other than perhaps that between a man and a woman, then looking into an infants eyes and just adoring. And the oldest looked at me and said with awe, Mommy! I understand now! This could never get boring. Now they are 24 and 13. Playing just online with the oldests new boyfriend, making plans, unknown to Mom for tackling a 14er in the next month or so.

Have I lost my peace over my family? There is something deeper than the physical pain and the emotional pain we go through. It is called love. The Bible calls it agape love or God’s love. I have suffered depression since I was 10. I have constant bouts of physical anxiety that often don’t have anything to do with my external surroundings. I haven’t oversensitive body, where vape and cigarettes can take me to the ER, my husband married a young woman that had a good income in 6 months later had to leave the job and then spent the better part of 18 years in and out of bed. We have had an amazing wonderful life. So much peace so much joy but how do you define that peace? Because I’ve suffered from anxiety. I’ve had 911 called on me for physical and mental health enough times that the ambulance drivers know my name. I am so blessed. My family is blessed. Our most recent challenge was 18 months separated from my husband because of my autoimmune. We discovered there was mold in the house but the house was so far gone it wasn’t sellable. Technically it wasn’t even ours it belonged to a relative but we had lived there for 20 years. My beloved is amazing but due to an illness in high school in Africa he has his own struggles and we have always lived on one income and he would work three jobs off in 7 days a week, when covid hit I swear he worked I think he went for 5 months with like 2 days off a month and 10-hour shifts and he comes home and tells the children how much he loves them and tells me what a treasure it is to have me in his life when he has to come home and cook and clean sometimes in those earlier years after working 16 hours. Is our world perfect?Um, no.  We’ve had our fights. One of the things that we have done and it’s because of our belief in Jesus Christ as we strive and we do this for the girls not to let the sun go down in our anger. General rule of thumb if we’re really boiling mad at each other it might take a full 2 hours before we call each other and go hey I’m really sorry. But I had to live 18 months with my child separated from my husband at a B&B because there wasn’t money or room for both of us at the B&B and there was nothing we could do about the house and everything was a mess. I actually stayed at a homeless shelter with the youngest with one of her adult sisters for a little bit which was a very good experience for me and I thought the shelter was amazing. But if you tell me that anything that steals my peace isn’t worth my life, then not even my worth life is worth anything because the person that steals my peace the most is the person in the mirror with a body that hits level 10 pain on a pretty regular basis. My body reacts to touch at times like somebody stabbed me. So what do I do reject my children’s hugs? No. There are times when it’s bad enough I say hey Mom’s on over stimulus can everybody leave me alone for a little bit. I’ve got a lot of health issues but there is a deeper peace much stronger than the anxiety. There is something tangible that sustains and the Bible says that God is love. Both of us have been blessed to know that we were treasured by God and this world is not functioning right now the way he desires it to function. In the Christian faith there is a prayer Jesus taught us to pray and we pray your will be done your Kingdom Come On Earth as it is in heaven. And when Jesus came he showed us the father’s will. He fed the 5,000 with a few loaves of bread and a few fish. God’s will is for people to be fed. He cast out demons that were tormenting people one man had a thousand demons in him in Christ cast them out of them the demons would make the man cut himself and it was just a life of Torment but Christ Jesus brought peace. And my husband and I are blessed because we come from generations of faithful believing Christians. Christians who are no more perfect than King David and if you’re not familiar with his story I would urge you to read all about him in the Bible. I love reading about King David he was just plain real. But when God is there in the mix, there are no storms or Waters that can quench love. Because of our faith in Jesus Christ in our upbringing and this is a challenging thing but we were always taught that integrity was really important. And as I raise my children I would always tell them if you do something wrong you might get in trouble, but if you lie about it you’re getting in Double Trouble. Because Integrity is so important in a human’s life and there were years and there were times Within culture and society when that was a treasure thing but one look at the internet can tell you we’ve lost our integrity and sadly destroys many beautiful things. And so when my daughter was going through her stage because it’s a training just like training to play piano, training us to not lie and not hide the truth can only be done in a loving environment where you’re not afraid, doesn’t mean there won’t be a consequence for a punishment but the consequence or the punishment will be done in love as part of your training so that we can do better next time. You touch your hand to the fire and it burns so that you don’t just keep lighting your hand on fire. But there’s so much love. Yeah there’s been seasons of my life I haven’t wanted to live. Life can be hard. Prior to my marriage to my husband I was in a relationship that was not healthy and I had to leave in such a manner to be safe. And I’ve made horrible choices in my life. I’ve done things to hurt people completely blind to my own stupidity until about 10 years later and you look back and go what the heck was I thinking!? But as you get older experience and wisdom hopefully help temper. But peace? Peace can come and go. My body and my brain do not bring me peace or at least not what most people would consider peace. Past trauma, PTSD. Now would I stay in an abusive relationship? I would see what God wanted me to do. And the season that I stayed I have never regretted because the person that hurt me had been way more hurt the first 35 years of their life than anything I’ve ever gone through and hurt people hurt people and sometimes I don’t mind being a bit of a buffer and I know that’s contrary to everything out there but that sometimes is what love does, but it has to be done from a healthy perspective of love. I always knew I was loved. Now granted mental illness and all the other stuff even my own mentality goes in and out and there were Seasons where I didn’t see myself as loved but that didn’t change the reality that I was deeply treasured and loved by God and that there were all so many people praying for me. I wonder if people know that heaven is praying for them? Jesus said that all of Heaven rejoices when one sinner repents. We think we are not seen but nothing could be farther from the truth. Farther, further. I never was good at that grammar. But unfortunately it is our vision that is impaired and we forget just how infinitely valued we are. I can promise you, I don’t think Jesus felt peace when he was going through the torture of the cross, but we were worth it. And I cannot imagine being a mother or a father and watching their son be tortured for the sake of people that hate them. But that’s God’s kind of love that never fails. Because there will be those who suddenly realize that there is no hatred, no lack of peace nothing you can ever sin or do that can keep God from Loving You. And when we finally believe the reality of who we actually are in the eyes of the creator of the universe, there’s nothing in this world that compares to that. As we were at the altar getting married I reminded my husband he will always be the second man in my life. God is first and where we have lost that at times God brings it back around because nothing else can sustain us. My husband is not God. He has failed me innumerable times as much as he has been and amazing Godly husband and I can promise I have equally failed him and my children. But we all know we’re worth it and so we love.

And I suppose that in the end there is most definitely, an Untouchable peace that is steadfast and that nothing can destroy. But it is not the priority or the goal. The goal is the relationship and the peace is at the end the beautiful end result. Blessings, and as always God’s peace.